Old Alliance
by poetif
Summary: Post-ep for Unholiest Alliance - After a short discussion of her drinking and a kiss of his hand, Ed and Olivia decide to call it a night. But what they didn't see, was who saw them. And, who continues to watch...and follow. Most unappreciatively. NOT TUCKSON.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay, it's no secret but I'm not a Tuckson fan. I only sail on one ship and that's the S.S. E/O lol. Haven't written for these two in a while and I feel incredibly rusty so don't hesitate to review. I wouldn't mind the input but this will likely be just a one-shot.**

He followed her tonight. Well, not her… _them_ , actually. He didn't mean to but he couldn't seem to help himself. Not when he saw her, picking up and putting her lips to his hand. _His_ hand. Tucker. He's been out of the loop for a while of course but he didn't think he was _that_ far out the damn loop.

Is this not the guy who tried to take their badges more than once? Did Elliot not put his family's home up for her after that prick put her in jail? Isn't Tucker the same asshole she defended him against when some messed up kid accused him of child molestation? Every answer to those questions is a resounding hell yes!

" _What the f*ck is she doing with him?"_ He asks himself.

He was perfectly happy sipping Coronas after work when he noticed the two of them uncharacteristically cozy at the bar. It's not his usual spot but his new career as an investigator in a law firm has him in all kinds of unfamiliar places. He never thought he'd be employed by the other side. But as it turns out, there are some good defense attorney's out there who actually still have souls as yet unsold to the devil or the highest bidder.

After SVU and post-Kathy, he needed something else to do to keep his naturally inquisitive mind occupied.

Post Kathy. It's been almost two years now. Six months after his forced retirement he finally decided to get his head out his ass and deal with the demons surrounding it, the problems in his marriage and the cowardly way he didn't reach out to Olivia after having his back for over a decade. It took some time, he and Kathy gave it one last solid try but they eventually gave in to the inevitable and got divorced.

And now, he finds himself tailing Olivia and Tucker. Again, it wasn't intentional but he was a little too shocked, and even more intrigued not to. They'd actually started keeping in touch after William Lewis turned her into someone nearly recognizable. He had to beg for weeks but Olivia finally threw him a bone and decided to give me the time of day. Elliot just had to agree not to give her shit about the fact that she was giving Cassidy an actual shot.

That first time they talked, they discussed things they hadn't talked about…ever. She opened up to him not only about her kidnapping and then present beau Brian, but also about David Hayden and her friendship with Bayard Ellis. Elliot talked about how some couch time with a good shrink turned out to be better than sitting in confession, the better relationship he has with his kids because of it and how cutting her off was one of the worse things he's ever done to anyone and…to himself.

Reconnecting gave Elliot hope that they could salvage even an iota of the closeness they used to share. Being partners all that time gave them a seemingly unbreakable bond, a definite connection. Selfishly, he thought after he and Kathy called it quits, that Liv would be an option. That, what everyone else had seen over the years but they tried to hide, would finally be allowed…an opportunity for exploration.

But it didn't happen, never seemed to be the right time.

And now she's with Tucker of all people after all he put _both_ of them through. He knows that people change. Elliot's changed. Olivia's changed. However, he finds it hard as hell to believe that _Tucker_ has changed enough for her to have developed amnesia or even forgive the many times he tried to destroy them.

But, Elliot sees them together none the less, and has followed them home. Well, to _her_ home. Tucker walked her up and ten minutes later he's leaving. Elliot doesn't know if they argued or if the man doesn't have the habit of staying overnight yet. Still he finds himself outside her door anyway, hoping she doesn't think it too late to buzz him up.

It's likely the three Coronas giving him the liquid courage to try it in the first place. And despite the reality of the situation, there's something inside of Elliot that needs, wants and feels like he deserves an explanation for her dating that asshole. There has to be a good reason. She has Noah in her life now right? God knows kids aren't enough to nip at the loneliness sometimes, and he's glad she has the family she's always wanted and deserved. But come on, Tucker? Not him. Anyone but him! Elliot didn't love Cassidy but he'd still choose him over Ed _"whose career_ _can I ruin today"_ Tucker.

So, he hits the buzzer and hopes for the best.

"Yeah, who is it?"

"Liv it's…it's me Elliot."

"Elliot? It's…11 o'clock."

"I know, look…can I come up please?"

Seconds later he hears a clicking as the door pops and wastes no time rushing through the lobby and boarding the elevator. Hitting the 10th floor button, he thinks how he's dropped her off a couple times but has never actually been inside her not-so-new-anymore digs. Aside from their initial conversation, communication has been few and far between, dwindling down to birthday and holiday well wishes despite Elliot's best attempts.

She knows about the divorce, he was at least that honest but never confessed how somewhere in the back of his mind that he'd always figured _they'd_ give it a go. Then again, things rarely go as planned.

At least not for Elliot. A kid post the age of forty, a career ending case, divorce and working for a firm of defense attorney's prove that.

When she opens the door, Olivia's face is void of all make-up, she's barefoot and in her dark blue cotton robe. There's nothing remotely sexual about her appearance but seeing her like that manages to take his breath away and he's suddenly struck dumb and mute as he takes her in.

"I haven't talked to you since Christmas," she says, answering the door and then moving immediately to sit on the sofa. "Thanks for Noah's dinosaurs by the way, but what brings you by so late?"

"I uh," he begins. "I saw you and…

"Saw me?" She asks, folding a leg beneath her where she sits. "What do you mean you saw me," she continues. "When?"

"At the bar, just now…with Tucker."

Olivia sweeps one of many errant growing locks behind her right ear as he surprises her with his answer.

"And you followed us here?" She asks, raising her eyebrows before crossing her arms defensively against her chest. "Why?"

"Does anyone know?"

"Yes," she answers abruptly, not wanting to get into the details of Barba dropping a dime on them and the fallout from Ed's priest cousin. "And what business is it of yours Elliot, you aren't on the force anymore."

His eyes slip closed for a second because it still stings more than it should.

"You're a lieutenant whose unit is regularly looked at by IAB," he points out. "They can't be happy about it and sooner or later-

Having been kicked out of SVU even if it was for a short time was punishment enough. More tidbits he doesn't need to be made aware of.

"So you followed me home at 11 o'clock on a Friday night because you have my best interests at heart, that it?" She asks. "I can take care of myself Elliot, always have. It's under control."

Olivia gets up from the sofa, preparing to see him to the door. But he hasn't budged, Elliot is stubbornly, without right by the way, standing in her living room hands stuffed in his pockets because he can't wrap his head around it.

"What now?" She asks at his back, realizing he's yet to move.

He grits his teeth, clenches his jaw and takes a breath before attempting to answer.

"I just…I don't get it Liv," he manages. "Why him…how could you…why _him_?"

She moves to face him then, trains those dark brown eyes right onto Elliot.

"Of all the things I _don't_ owe you, an explanation or justification of who I choose to see in _my_ personal life is right there at the top," she asserts.

"I know," he agrees, dropping his eyes to the beige carpeting. "I just…he came after us so many times Liv," he reasons. "And you told me how he did the same to Amaro after I left so…I never thought you'd align yourself with him let alone date him."

"Yeah well, neither did I," she says. "But people change. I could never have predicted you'd pretend as if our partnership never mattered."

Elliot steps forward then, mostly because he feels how being in close proximity still affects her just as much as it does himself.

"I can't apologize for that enough," he begins. "But if you need to hear it again, I'll say it."

Seeing her eyes soften, he knows she believes his sincerity.

"You don't have to," she nearly whispers. "But if you're still calling yourself my friend the only thing that should matter to you is whether or not he makes me happy."

Elliot knows the answer before he asks, yet it doesn't stop him from posing the question anyway.

"And does he?" He asks, taking another step closer.

"It goes without saying," she offers. "Why else would I be with him?"

Her hands hang limply at her sides and he does something he's never done beyond undercover work. He reaches for them.

"What are you doing?" She asks, but doesn't shrug off his hold.

"You didn't answer the question."

In her stocking feet he's several inches taller so he looks down, waiting for an answer.

"I'm not alone anymore," she asserts. "He understands the job…when I have to call and cancel a date…he's been good for me."

But Elliot doesn't hear a simple 'yes' nor much of the explanation because he's hypnotized by the movement of her lips, and those three Coronas, maybe it was four, has him leaning towards the mouth of his former partner.

The kiss isn't as clumsy as it possibly should be and it's the right amount of moisture and languidness to be instantly enjoyable. When Olivia starts to participate he feels those clichéd fireworks and that heat in his belly so, Elliot closes the distance between them, melding his body against hers. As he abandons her hands for her waist, she rests warm palms against his chest and he immediately begins to wonder if she can feel just how fast his heart is beating.

Until she pulls back, then steps away all together.

"That-shouldn't have happened," Olivia tells him, running a hand through her dark, growing locks, having turned towards the windows. "You should go."

Elliot watches as she touches her fingertips to her lips in the reflection of the glass. Cleary she's just as effected, but he won't push her. Not tonight.

"If you're free at all tomorrow," he begins. "Can I see you, so we can talk?"

"What else is there to say?" She asks, turning to face me once more.

"Liv, I-

"We haven't spoken in months Elliot, I haven't seen you."

Olivia walks into the kitchen and grabs a glass. When she opens the refrigerator he sees her reach for the wine bottle, but thinks better of it and pours water instead.

"It's not from a lack of trying on my part," he reminds her, approaching the counter. "You've blown me off."

"I have responsibilities, a son, a life outside of you Elliot, we aren't joined at the hip anymore," she says, before drinking the water like she wishes it was something stronger.

"You've always had a life outside of me," he contends. "Now that it includes Tucker there's no room for anyone else?"

"Not just anyone else, _you_ Elliot!"

She immediately realizes she's just yelled and pauses to listen for Noah.

"Look, Ed is the man in my life," she says, calmly. "And seeing as though you hate each other, that's drama waiting to happen that I don't need nor do I want my son to witness."

"You know I'd never do anything to hurt that little boy," he tells her.

"I know," she says, putting the glass in the sink before rounding the counter. "But sometimes we unintentionally hurt people we care about."

Elliot's done it to her, so of course she knows first-hand.

"So that's it?" He asks. "I don't get to see you or Noah anymore so long as you're with _Ed_?"

A combination of anger and disappointment returns to the depths of Olivia's eyes trying to remain both emotional and physically distant from him.

"How would that be any different than your absence from my life for months?" She asks, busying herself by picking up some of Noah's toys. "And…all the time before that."

Elliot rests his hands on his hips, shaking his head at just how much an idiot he's been. The attempts he's made to reach out to her over the months weren't rejected just because she was with someone else, or busy with work or her son. It was because she's protecting herself.

From him.

He goes to Olivia again, stilling her hands from picking up any more toys. It's funny how easily and natural touching her is becoming.

"It's never gonna be the right time for us is it?" He asks.

She takes a breath and squeezes his hands back just slightly.

"What us?" Olivia questions. "The only us there's ever been is our partnership and that didn't exactly end well."

"I'm sorry," he repeats, for what seems like the millionth time. "I don't wanna be the cause of anymore pain for you," he adds, reaching up to thread a hand through her hair. "I just wish-

"I know, I know," she says with a smirk. "That it was anyone but him."

"You know me so well."

"I used to," she counters. "I couldn't have predicted you'd show up late on a Friday night to grill me about who I'm dating or…kiss me for that matter."

"True," he tells her, dropping his hand to her waist. "But I like keeping you on your toes."

If she's surprised, she doesn't show it. Apparently she's getting used to his hands on her as well. She nods and he can see in her eyes that she's grown serious again.

"You know I can't just kick him to the curb because you don't like him," Olivia says. "I wanna give this thing with him a real chance."

"And you'll only resent me if I interfere instead of letting things take their own course," he concludes.

"Yes."

"So no more dropping by unannounced?" Elliot asks.

"Right."

"No more grilling you about Tucker?"

"Absolutely not." Olivia asserts.

"And no more kissing?"

She can't help but laugh and mildly blush at his question.

"After all this time I don't even know where that came from," she admits.

"But you weren't surprised."

"No," she says. "And I'm pretty sure you know that already," she adds, eluding to her participation before she came to her senses and pulled away. "But yes, no more kissing."

If Elliot has to wait out the predictable course of a relationship for two people who so obviously don't belong together, he's not going to do it without giving her another hint of the passion he knows she doesn't share with _that_ son of a bitch.

Olivia knows it's coming because there's a small smile on her lips before he covers hers with his own again. He slows things down even more so than the first time, completely sliding his arms around her waist to pull her against him. One of her hands grasps the back of Elliot's neck while the other lays against his chest as he coaxes her mouth open to taste her. And though the low moan she probably doesn't think he's heard doesn't encourage him to do so, he finds the strength to pull back.

"Last one," Elliot says, trying to catch his breath as he rests his forehead against hers. "Promise."

"Right," she whispers.

A few seconds later they break apart and she walks him to the door.

"Can you send pictures of Noah from time to time, let me know how he's doing?"

"I think that'd be okay."

"G'night Liv."

"Night El."

The End…probably.

 **End A/N: Just a little something I had rumbling around in my head. Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again boys and girls, guess I thought this story deserved another part. And when I saw** _ **Heightened Emotions**_ **, I knew in which direction it was heading. That moment Carisi asked Olivia about how her relationship with Tucker was going, a light bulb went on when she hesitated and here is the result. Also, this chapter is rated M so take heed.**

 _It went something like this..._

She had agreed to send Elliot photos of Noah from time to time but for whatever reason, she'd gotten it in her head that it was a good idea to meet him and give them to him…in person.

At his apartment.

Alone.

It started off simple, innocent really. It was Olivia's day off, Noah was at a birthday party and Ed was visiting family in Boston. So, she called Elliot and he'd invited her to Brooklyn to see his place in Boerum Hill. She'd never been there before and thought, why not?

Though he'd dropped her off at _her_ apartment on several occasions, for some reason she had avoided going to his. Despite his attempts at seeing her more often, Olivia had pointedly dodged his suggestions for coffee, a movie or a drink here and there. Exchanging pleasantries for holidays and birthdays were fine but anything more, she had actively avoided.

She was protecting herself from him. The _new_ her, her new life with her son, the supervisory role she'd taken at SVU, her relationship with Tucker…

Everything.

Olivia wanted to keep the woman she was with him and the woman she'd become _without_ him separate. She was afraid that whatever that thing was that kept her so complacent all those years by his side, would emerge in his presence. And the last thing she'd wanted to do was go backwards.

Her new motto was "onward and upward". No ruminating on what was. No holding on to old hurts or past resentments. It's not that she'd forgotten all the pain, stress and drama that Ed had caused her and others she'd worked with, but she'd chosen to accept it and forgave him.

Though she never thought she would.

There's apparently something to be said for a good shrink. She credited Dr. Lindstrom for her newfound ability not to hold grudges. But she admits, even if it is just to herself, there is a small part of her that does not completely trust Ed. And she surmised, that that was the part that had led her to Elliot's doorstep last week.

It was a Saturday and she was just visiting an old friend. That's what she told herself before the guilt could stop her. Because she knew if the tables were turned, she wouldn't want Ed visiting someone he had been as close to as she was to Elliot at one point in time.

Olivia kept it casual with a V-neck sweater, dark jeans and sneakers. Her make-up was minimal and her hair was no different than how she'd worn it to work the previous day. Again, she was just visiting an old friend, showing him new pictures of her son. That was her rationalization.

She knocked twice and a minute later he stood before her, barefoot, worn jeans, faded Jets t-shirt and a beer dangling from his fingertips with a grin on his face.

"Hey," he said, his tone raspy.

Olivia should've turned and left then.

"Hi," she responded.

"Come in, come in," he said, widening the door to allow her to enter. "It's good to see you."

The apartment was intimate but modern and decidedly Elliot. There were hardwood floors throughout. Stainless steel appliances, white and smoked glass cabinetry made up the quaint kitchen to her left. A small, four place, nickel hued dining table separated it from the living room. A black area rug began that space and complimented the framed art and camel colored L-shaped sofa. A large flat screen was affixed to the opposite wall and below sat a console table with various pictures of his children, other family and several vases.

"This is nice," she said, exploring his digs. "I should've come by sooner."

"Nothing was stopping you," he reminded her, opening the refrigerator. "You want a beer or I've got…green tea, bottled water and…ginger ale."

"The tea sounds good," she said, bending slightly to take a look at his collection of photographs.

Elliot grabbed the chilled glass bottle and moved to join her in the living room. Their fingers brushed just slightly as he handed it to her.

"You _know_ why it wasn't a good idea," she told him. "As much as you don't like that I'm with Tucker, he'd feel the same way if he knew I was here with you."

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "And you don't want Noah to witness any drama, I remember," he added. "So why today?"

She'd had no answer for his question then and hasn't come up with one for herself since.

"Do you wanna see the pictures or not?"

He'd raised an eyebrow at her response, smirked but agreed and followed her to the sofa. They sat down side by side as Olivia pulled her tablet from her purse. The two former partners spent the next half hour looking at the volume of pictures she'd amassed over the last three months. He laughed at her explanations of Noah's boyish activities, how he'd taken to jumping off of things and getting his head stuck in various places in ways she couldn't explain.

"None of my girls had that problem," he laughed. "But my boys…God, Richard stuck his head in between the banister and railings at least three times," he told her. "And Eli put his halfway into a water pitcher."

"Slow learners, boys are," she chided. "Every last one of you."

"Hey, I resent that."

"Of course you do."

When they found themselves smiling at each other, she was thankful when he had the presence of mind to change the subject.

"So," he began. "How was Paris in summer?"

"Beautiful," she answered. "And hot of course but mostly gorgeous," she continued. "The sights, the museums and the food…God El, the food was amazing."

"I'd taken you more for an Italian type of girl," he pointed out. "And what about the company?"

"I know you don't really want to hear about Ed and I don't really want to discuss our relationship with you," she responded, honestly. "But Paris was a place I've always wanted to go and I'm glad both Noah and I got the chance to experience that."

"But…"

"But nothing El," she told him, standing. "You keep wanting me to tell you that Tucker's horrible or that he stiffed me with the check or that he's not good with my son –

"But he _is_ good with Noah or else he would've been kicked to the curb a long time ago," he surmised, rising from the sofa as well. "And yeah, there's a part of me that expects him to be the dick he's always been so for your sake _and_ Noah's, I'm glad he's not."

"Then why –

"Because I can see."

Olivia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms against her chest.

"And what exactly is it that you think you can see Elliot?"

He stuffed his hands in his front pockets, rocked back and forth on his heels, looking around the room before meeting her eyes again.

"I can see…that you appreciate his companionship, that your son has a male role model and that he was there for you through the hostage thing and...losing Dodds."

"But?"

"But…I can also see that you're not in love with him," he said. "Your eyes don't light up when you talk about Tucker, you don't blush at the thought of you two together and I'm sorry if I'm overstepping…but I don't see the chemistry either."

"And how would you know, you've never – oh wait, I forget you have the habit of following me around."

She turned to grab her tablet, stuffed it into her purse and headed for the door.

"Come on Liv it was once and you know it wasn't like that," he reminded her. "It was pure coincidence…I explained," he added, taking a deep breath. "Why is it so hard to be around me now that you're with _him_?"

Elliot followed her across the room. And just as her hand was about to touch the knob, she turned to face him once more.

"Because you do _this_ , Elliot," she pointed out. "You push."

"You said if I still called you my friend, that the only thing that matters is that he makes you happy," he pointed out.

"Okay?"

"Well, as your _friend_ …I also think it's my responsibility to call bullshit when you don't seem to be able to," he added. "Yeah, I think you're happy to have Noah, happy to have figured out how to balance being his mom and supervising SVU…I even think you're happy to have someone who understands the job."

"But?"

"I think he was the safe choice," he went on. "I don't think you share that fire…that passion, that gotta-have-it-now that comes with new relationships so no, I don't think he makes you as happy as you could be."

"Again, how the hell would you know?"

"Because you're _here_."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him, backing towards the door.

"Easy fix."

As she moved to leave again, he turned her to face him. Elliot quickly advanced on her and she ended up with her back against the door, caged in with both of his hands on either side of her shoulders.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He leaned in incredibly close.

"Showing you the difference," he whispered in her left ear.

"With what?" She asked, swallowing hard.

"Between being content," he answered, whispering into her right ear. "And being excited," he breathed against her skin.

Elliot put his hot, open mouth on the flesh of her neck.

"Right now your heart is racing," he began. "Your breaths are coming faster," he added, dropping his hands to rest at her waist.

As if it would contain her body's response, she tightened her purse over her shoulder with one hand as the other hanged limply at her side. He pushed her sweater and tank up, revealing the tan skin beneath. Olivia dropped her eyes to his actions, seemingly entranced.

She should've just left.

"And your body as beginning to heat," he went on, rubbing his thumbs against the exposed flesh.

Olivia opened her mouth in protest and Elliot took the opportunity to cover it with his own, sliding his warm tongue inside. She immediately tasted the orange flavored beer he'd taken to drinking. And in the absence of her protest, he melded his body to Olivia's, placing his hands on her hips to pull her even closer.

She dropped her purse to the floor, not giving a damn if she'd broken the tablet inside. Her arms moved around his neck as they kissed languidly and passionately until they ran out of the oxygen to continue.

Olivia stopped thinking after that and neither of them spoke.

She pulled back enough to drop her arms from around him and rested her forehead against his shoulder. Her hands moved to the front of his waist where she smoothed warm palms beneath his shirt, up his stomach to his chest then down again. Elliot helped when she began lifting the faded green material from his body. He returned the favor, divesting her of her sweater along with the tank she wore beneath while she toed off her sneakers.

Olivia smiled and watched his eyes darken, it'd been years since the only time he'd ever seen her in her bra. He captured her lips and moved his hands to palm her ass before lifting her altogether. She wrapped her legs around his waist as Elliot carried her to the bedroom.

After he laid her on his steel blue duvet, she immediately began to push her jeans down the lengths of her legs, Elliot helping her to remove them completely. His eyes held hers as they worked together, and a predatory grin slipped over his face like a mask. Their teamwork continued when he kneeled before her, Olivia slightly lifting so that he could slide the simple black cotton panties from her body.

Once out of them, he began planting kisses down her belly to the small triangle of dark curls that lay beneath. He put both thighs over his shoulders, parted her with his fingers, and held her open with the strength of his tongue. And though she had the habit of moaning to encourage a lover, this time Olivia had done so because she couldn't contain her appreciation.

Between the thickness of his digits and the texture and movement of his tongue, not being vocal about the amount of pleasure he was providing simply wasn't an option. She barely had time to recover from the first orgasm before a second took over unexpectedly.

With her heart still beating at the pace of a hummingbird she sat up, removing her bra as Elliot kissed his way back up her body to find her lips again. There was nothing languid about it. It was pure fire, a clash of lips, teeth and tongues. He nibbled her bottom lip before dropping that talented mouth of his to her breasts.

Olivia palmed the back of his head as he nipped, suckled and manipulated her hardened nipples with the heat of his mouth and the adeptness of his hands. When she realized things were a little one-sided she rolled them so that she was on top.

She slowed down their kissing once again, lowering her mouth to lick his chest and down his abdomen until she could unbutton and remove his jeans. Elliot let her strip him of his gray boxer briefs, continuing that predatory gaze of his as she finally got a look at all of him. There was no hesitation in wrapping her hand around him, cupping him, stroking him until his eyes closed from the gratification.

Olivia bit her lower lip with an equally devilish grin intending to pleasure him with her mouth when he suddenly and enthusiastically flipped them once more. He reached over to his night table, pulled out a condom and slipped it on. She didn't give him time to question her certainty about what they were about to do. As they lay side by side facing one another, Elliot tenderly threaded his hand through her hair while she put her thigh above his, opening herself to him, leaving no room for doubt.

He sank enter her warmth and began moving at a rhythmic and leisurely pace, Olivia matching it as an incredibly passionate accomplice. Both took the time to caress, to taste and touch every inch of skin within their reach before finding each other's lips again. But after a few minutes neither could maintain their lazy speed so Elliot got her beneath him, moving things along fervently with the undulation of his hips and the continued manipulation of her body with his fingers.

The opus of their lovemaking included her moaning, his panting, her screaming and his grunting, ending ironically when they both _quietly_ orgasmed with the whisper of each other's names on their lips. Subsequent to their lovemaking, she fell asleep with the feeling of him kissing the scar above her right brow and whispering, _"I missed you Liv,"_ in her ear.

Two hours later she woke to a delicious aroma. Elliot had folded her clothes neatly and laid them on an armchair for her to see. She gathered them as she eyed his wall clock and realizing what time it was, hurried to get dressed.

Afterwards Olivia found him standing in his kitchen clad only in his jeans, whistling and stirring the contents of a pot and a sauce pan. He seemed genuinely happy and she hated being the one to have to ruin that.

"Hey there," he said, looking up as she entered the room. "How was your nap?"

"It was…good."

It had been a very long time since she'd had to duck out after having sex with somone she shouldn't have. But, she needed to pick up her son.

"Listen…El –

"I'm makin' linguini with shrimp scampi," he interrupted. "Come here, taste this."

Olivia stepped forward as he blew on a wooden spoon before putting it to her mouth to sample.

"That's delicious El but –

He took in the fact that she was now completely dressed, purse in hand. He was a detective for over twenty years after all.

"You have to go."

"I have to go," she repeated. "I've got about twenty minutes to pick up Noah from a birthday party."

"Oh…okay," he told her.

"But we…we'll talk about this later," she said, turning to leave.

Elliot quickly extinguished the flames beneath his cookware.

"Liv, hold on."

"El, I'm already late."

He stepped close to her entwining his fingers with the hand not holding her purse, then leaned in to kiss her, sampling her once more.

"That _is_ delicious."

She smiled.

"El –

"Just wanted to say I'm sorry for pushing you about your relationship with Tucker," he said. "But I'm not sorry about… _that_ Liv," he added gesturing over her shoulder towards his bedroom. "And I hope you're not either."

"I don't El but this…it shouldn't have happened," she told him, releasing his hand. "And it can't happen again."

Olivia had hurried out of his front door, telling herself it was because she needed to pick up Noah. And while mostly true, she was also afraid that they _would've_ had sex again. Because in that moment she'd wanted him. Standing there barefoot and shirtless, his jean's button undone, cooking for her. Olivia would've allowed him to take her on the counter right next to his yummy shrimp scampi linguini.

So, she'd gotten the hell out of there.

He's called and texted her a multitude of times but she can't bring herself to talk to him because he was right. She and Ed don't share the same chemistry, the same passion, the same off the charts sexual compatibility that she'd had with Elliot that Saturday afternoon.

And the last thing she wants to think about is the type of implications that has for her future with Tucker. For this first time in a long time, she thought she was happy. Every aspect of her life fit into a neat little box. Family, work satisfaction and a meaningful relationship. Three things everyone needed and would be content in having. Only she wasn't, not anymore.

That entire afternoon has been in her head on heavy rotation ever since she told Carisi that all relationships had secrets. Olivia just never expected Elliot to be one of them.

 **E/N: Alright people, do what you do and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't know what the powers that be plan on doing with their "secrets" and "complicated" relationship situation. But this is my take. Any writing in italics is the property if it's respective writer(s).**

" _I went to bat for you."_

" _And the truth is…I wish you hadn't. I wish you would've just told the truth."_

Ellis Griffin's outburst ended her day by noon, but instead of picking up Noah from daycare and interrupting his schedule, she felt the overwhelming urge to see Elliot.

Olivia finds herself at his doorstep twenty minutes after the heartbreaking conversation with Patrick. She didn't call first, she didn't text him, she merely drove, hoping like hell that he was home.

After knocking twice, he finally answers, towel cinched around his waist dripping wet from the shower. She immediately looks away, then to the floor before meeting his eyes again.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"I've been trying to do that for over a week," he tells her. "But you avoided me and now that _you_ need to talk I'm supposed to do what…drop everything?"

Olivia's eyes roam quickly over his body before meeting his stare. When he realizes his state of undress he corrects himself.

"Poor choice of words but you know what I mean."

"You're right," she admits. "I could blame it on work or use Noah as an excuse but the truth is I just…I didn't know what to say."

"And now you do?"

"No," she answers. "But I really –

She pauses and tries to reign in her tears, still upset from the conversation with her other former partner.

"Can we talk?" She asks. "Please."

Elliot never could turn her away, let alone while she was upset.

"Come in," he tells her, walking off and leaving her to lock up. "I'll be back in a minute."

Olivia drops her purse on the kitchen counter, crosses the short expanse of the living room and waits at the sliding glass patio doors just beyond the sofa. She slowly breathes while taking in the Brooklyn skyline. It is more industrial in nature than Manhattan's but not all that different.

Yet, it feels an entire world away.

Perhaps it's because Elliot's here. Or maybe it's the feelings he invokes. The desire to be a little reckless and abundantly passionate takes over in his presence. And the mediocrity of being content sits quietly in a small corner like a disciplined child.

She thinks she should try harder to want what she already has. Hurting Ed is not a goal of hers, especially since a cheating ex is what made him spitefully join IAB in the first place.

"You okay?"

Olivia startles at his voice.

"Sorry…didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," she says, turning to face him. "I'm…it's just been a hell of a week."

Elliot is comfortable in black sweats and a gray and black USMC t-shirt. He stands in bare feet, arms crossed over his chest.

"How so?"

He sounds genuinely concerned but Olivia can tell by his body language that he's still pissed about her avoidance tactics. There has been no offer of a drink and he's keeping his distance.

"After Karen Smythe trained me at the 3-1, I transferred to the 5-5 to be closer to my mom," she explains. "She'd started drinking more and…I got worried enough to switch precincts so that my beat was in her neighborhood."

"Sorry…I'm not making the connection."

"My partner at the 5-5, Patrick Griffin," she continues. "I had to arrest his son for rape."

Elliot takes one look at the pain on her face and draws his own conclusion.

"And he wanted you to bury it."

"Yeah," she admits. "He was a great friend, a good mentor," she explained. "He taught me the job and…we were close."

Elliot raises an eyebrow at this.

"Not that close," she clarifies. "We knew each other _almost_ as well as you and I do," she adds. "But I trusted him with my life…my career."

"He couldn't have known you that well to think you'd make something like that go away," he tells her. "And what do you mean you trusted him with your career?"

Olivia steps closer, stuffing her hands into her front pockets. She takes a deep breath, drops her focus to the floor before meeting his gaze.

"On our first bust I made a rookie mistake," she explains. "I tried to arrest this skell on my own and he later accused me of pocketing some drugs and cash."

"You didn't of course," he states.

There is no doubt in his voice.

"No," she says. "But Patrick lied and told IAB he was with me the entire time," she continues. "It could've meant the end of my career if he hadn't vouched for me."

"And he expected you to let his son skate on a felony by throwing that in your face?"

"You're telling me if Richard was in the same situation," she goes on. "Twenty-two years old, graduated with honors, lucrative career and his whole life ahead of him," she reasons. "You wouldn't bring up all the sketchy shit I've pulled…like knowing I sent Simon money while he was a fugitive…running my DNA to find him in the first place…talking to that reporter about the Anthrax scare -

"Liv," he interrupts, stepping closer to her. "First of all, you've got just as much sketchy shit on me," he points out, getting the small grin he'd hoped for. "And second, if I learned anything trying to cover for Katie, it's that you cannot and you should not try to protect your kids from the consequences of their _own_ actions."

Olivia holds his eyes, anchoring herself to the sincerity she's always found in them.

"And despite how our partnership ended," he adds. "There's no way in hell, I'd use twelve years of being there for each other as leverage… _ever_ ," he asserts. "Griffin did what partners do Liv, you don't owe him anything for that, and if he did it just to have an ace…well I say screw him."

With those last words barely falling from his lips, she erases the two steps between them and throws her arms around Elliot's neck. It's exactly what she needed to hear.

"Thank you," she whispers against his skin.

After a minute they release each other.

"I know it's early but would you like a drink?"

"Please."

Elliot walks to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator and begins rooting around.

"I gave his son every chance to come clean," she says. "Barba offered him a deal but he had himself so convinced that he hadn't done it," she adds. "And when he was finally able to admit it…he blurted out his apology to the vic in open court."

"Wow," he responds. "There's no making any deals after that."

"He didn't have to…only got two years," she informs him. "We've seen pot dealers get more time."

"That's our broken criminal justice system," he says, returning to hand her a bottle.

"How long have you been drinking this?" She asks. "I mean, was it on sale or something, maybe buy one get one free?"

"Funny Liv, but don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

Elliot pops the top for her so she can have a taste.

"That's not bad," Olivia comments, crossing her legs and running her arm along the back of the sofa as she faces him.

The movement distracts her from blushing as she remembers sampling the fruit flavored beer from his mouth last week.

"It's no pricey bottle of wine but it works."

"I've uh…taken a break from the pricey bottles of wine," she says. "I haven't been drinking at all really," she adds. "Felt like I was turning into my mother but…this is nice."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah…so," he begins, mimicking her position but leaning his shoulder against the back cushion. "Do we get to talk about what we're not talking about now?"

Olivia sips from her bottle once more before placing it on his coffee table.

"I honestly don't know where to start."

"Do you regret it?"

"It was wrong to sleep with you while I'm with Ed but no, I don't regret it."

Elliot lifts her hand from the back of the sofa and begins running his thumb over the soft skin of her knuckles. Reluctantly she pulls from his grasp and returns her hand to her lap.

"I also said it couldn't happen again."

"Why not?"

Olivia raises both eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Besides the fact that we have amazing sex," he points out, resulting in a smirk, eye roll and shake of her head. "We fit Liv…we always have."

"We fit," she repeats. "Elliot, when's the last time you went out on a date?"

"Why do you ask?"

She laughs at his evasion.

"You had those condoms pretty handy in your nightstand," she answers. "Obviously you're not just pining away, waiting for me to have an epiphany where Tucker's concerned."

He takes a sip of his lager before responding.

"I'm a responsible adult so I'm what…a man-whore now?"

"Didn't say that."

"And just because I'm dating doesn't mean they get to see the inside of this apartment," Elliot defends. "Let alone my bedroom."

"You're right," she placates. "I'm sure these women you date can probably afford their own apartments."

"Tryin' to pick a fight so you don't have to deal with the truth," he tells her, scooting closer. "Won't work."

Olivia rises from the sofa, trying to create some much needed distance.

"Which truth Elliot?" She asks. "That you hate seeing me with Ed or that you hate seeing me with anyone?"

He gets up to join her, eye level when he answers.

"Both."

She moves one hand to her hip, the other rubs her forehead as if he's giving her a migraine with the conversation.

"Why are you pushing this?"

"Because you want it just as much as I do," he answers, taking a step closer.

"So this is about sex."

"You know it was more than just sex," he contends. "With us -

"There is no us," Olivia tells him. "There never has been."

"With us it's different," he says, ignoring her and planting warm hands at her waist beneath her blazer. "I've missed you Liv," he whispers in her ear.

The statement and his proximity conjure up memories of their last meeting. Placing both hands against the expanse of his chest is reflexive. Elliot pulls back to look in her eyes then leans in unbelievably slow until his lips are touching hers. It is an instant kind of heat, like dropping a match on gasoline soaked rags.

Olivia can't discern his taste from her own. She can feel the same fire, the same passion, the same gotta-have-it-now that she felt the last time she was there. It's everything he so accurately pointed out is missing with Tucker, yet she refuses to acknowledge to Elliot that it's true.

Her mind bombards her with vivid images and her body remembers how good he felt. She finds herself sliding her hands up the back of his shirt, touching his heated flesh and pulling him that much closer.

Elliot moves his grasp from her hips to her face, controlling the kiss before finding the strength to wrench himself away from her.

"You said you didn't wanna do this again," he says, trying to catch his breath. "If that's true Liv…if you don't want me –

"I do…but you're right," she interjects, taking a step back. "You're right. I can't…go out with him in public and take you to bed in private," she adds. "It's not fair to any of us."

"Never thought I'd be in a love triangle," he says, trying to lighten the mood.

It doesn't work.

"It should've never come to this," she tells him. "When I came here last week…I told myself that I was just visiting an old friend."

"But?"

"You and I have always had this convoluted, intense and complicated relationship," she says, returning to the sofa for her beer. "I knew the first time you kissed me that it wasn't a good idea to be alone with you."

"You sayin' I'm irresistible?" He asks, joining her on the couch but giving her space as he sips from his own bottle.

"I'm trying to be serious here Elliot."

"I know, sorry," he offers. "I get that you feel conflicted, guilty even –

"He trusts me El and I'm here with you…again," she tells him. "So yes, I feel very guilty."

"If you're so happy with him –

"He wants us to be a family," Olivia interrupts. "Ed wants Noah and I to move in with him," she adds. "He's got a townhouse…three bedrooms…I feel like Paris was sort of a trial period to see what it'd be like."

"That's…have you even been together for a year?"

"Almost," she responds, sipping her Hangar 24. "But it doesn't matter."

"You're considering this?"

Olivia meets his gaze and he knows the answer.

"Of course you are, it's what you've wanted your whole life."

"Before he and I got together, I was actually getting use to the idea that I'd never have it," she confesses.

"But that doesn't mean you stopped wanting it," he concludes.

"Yeah."

"And after Cassidy, David and whoever else, you didn't think about giving our…convoluted, intense, complicated relationship a shot?"

She grins at how he's used her words but knows he's serious.

"El…you were separated for two years and never even –

"We were partners Liv," he excuses. "I thought we both needed that stability more than –

"The amazing sex?"

He laughs at her bluntness.

"Yeah, but now that I hear it out loud it sounds unquestionably stupid," he realizes, causing them both to both to crack up.

"This is fun," she says. "I've uh…I've missed you too by the way…I've missed your corny jokes, the long boring stakeouts playing twenty questions, you bringing me coffee, God just…seeing each other."

"Then why have you avoided me since reconciling?"

"I haven't –

"Liv, how many times have I asked you to meet me for coffee, to have a drink…to take a walk?" He asks. "You've always made excuses."

Olivia stands, using her empty beer as a reason to put some space between them. She walks into the kitchen and he trails behind, taking the bottle and dropping it into a recycle bin beneath the sink.

She sits on the counter, crosses her legs at the ankles and plants her hands on either side of her.

"I wanted, no…I _needed_ to learn how not to be so dependent on you," she finally answers. "I needed to forgive you for hurting me with the way you left."

Elliot steps in front of her, placing his hands over hers.

"And I needed to forgive myself," she says, turning her hands up to slide her palms into his. "For developing feelings for someone I couldn't have…and letting it effect my life and career choices."

"And now?"

Olivia takes a deep breath, looks at their entwined fingers before meeting his eyes again.

"Now I'm in _two_ complicated relationships," she admits. "You were right…last week wasn't just sex," she continues. "And part of me came here knowing it would happen."

"Despite the horrible timing," he begins. "I feel like it was inevitable."

"Me too."

"Look…I don't have a three-bedroom townhouse and I can't offer you trips to Paris," he tells her. "But that doesn't mean I wouldn't try to make you happy."

"El –

She can't seem to maintain eye contact.

"And not just with a trial period or an invitation to cohabitate," he continues. "I'd wanna put a ring on this finger," he surprises her with, rubbing his thumb against her skin.

Olivia's focus returns quickly and sharply to him, a panic-stricken look on her face.

"Don't worry, I'm not proposing," Elliot says, smirking. "We should probably at least date first and you'd have to dump Tucker of course."

Olivia shakes her head at his candor.

"What happened to _not_ pushing?"

He releases her hands, uncrosses her legs, pulls her close and wraps Olivia's calves around his waist.

"What are you doing?" She asks as he leans in.

"Helping you weigh your options," he whispers against her lips just before he kisses her.

Elliot takes hold of her bottom lip with his teeth, then suckles on it before stealing into her mouth to taste the beer they've shared. He moves to her chin, then her neck, nuzzling it with his nose before placing his open mouth on her.

Olivia closes her eyes and just…feels.

When he pushes her blazer off her shoulders and down her arms she offers no protest. The badge and her Glock are next as he lays them on the counter alongside her thigh. He takes a step back, kneeling to remove her boots one at a time.

Olivia's heart is racing from the sheer fact that it's him, undressing her. She bites her bottom lip as her mouth waters in anticipation. She's not supposed to be there, was adamant that last week was a one-time deal so long as she's with someone else.

But with every instance of Elliot's kiss, his touch…

"Do you wanna stop?" He asks, the material of her blouse in his hands.

She doesn't answer, just raises her arms so he can take it off of her. There's a matching white cami beneath that she ditches as well, dropping it next to the rest of her things.

"You're beautiful Liv," he says before planting kisses on her collarbone. "Inside and out."

Elliot leans away to pull his t-shirt off.

"So are you," Olivia comments, planting a kiss to his chest. "After what I went through with Griffin," she begins. "I had to see you…to make sure I know you as well as I _thought_ I knew him."

She scoots off the counter and he steadies her, hands at her waist.

"Better," he asserts.

Olivia nods in agreement as she stands on her toes to get at his mouth again. The way he devours her like ice cream is anything but disappointing. Elliot begins walking backwards, blindly pulling her along while trying not to bump into anything.

"Ow," he says, hitting the frame to his bedroom.

She doesn't bother trying to hide her amusement.

"That's funny huh?"

"Lil bit, yeah."

Olivia shrieks when he scoops her up, carries her to his bed and climbs over her body. The second he opens the front clasp of her navy and white lace bra and begins kissing her breasts, all the levity seeps right out of her along with a moan.

Her hand grasps the back of his neck as he circles one toffee colored nipple with his tongue before taking it into the warmth of his mouth. Elliot slides a hand down her abdomen and releases the button of her slacks. He slips his palm into her panties to tease her while he drives her to the edge.

"Shit," she says, breathless.

His scent is all around her and between his gifted mouth and skillful hands, she reaches her first orgasm in embarrassingly record time. Elliot meets her eyes with raised brows and a cocky grin.

"Shut up."

"Didn't say a word."

He pulls her pants down her legs, smiling when the matching navy and white lace boy shorts come into view. Olivia tosses her bra to the floor to join her slacks.

"You're overdressed," she points out.

"So are you."

She pushes him to lay down on his back then starts tugging his sweatpants down. Olivia thinks they'll be even if she can get him down to his shorts. But with the mischievous grin that spreads across his face she should know better. He folds his arms behind his head and lets her continue to pull.

"Were you in a hurry after your shower or do you go commando often?" She asks, eying his bare and full erection instead of a pair of boxer briefs.

"Both," he answers, as she rids him of his sweats completely.

Olivia smiles as she reaches for his nightstand drawer. She grabs a condom, tears it open with her teeth and rolls it onto him. Things are slower than when they'd first made love. She shimmies out of her panties then slides over him, leaning forward to capture his lips before she begins to move.

This time he lets her set the pace.

She swells and surges her hips over him as their pelvises repeatedly connect. Elliot enthusiastically grasps her thighs with both hands enjoying the ride.

"God Liv," he manages. "You feel so good."

Olivia starts slow but as the tension builds she increases her speed, going faster and faster until he reaches between where their bodies meet and manipulates her into submission. That familiar ball of electricity starts from her core and spreads out to her fingers and toes as she surrenders.

"Elliot!" She yells, head thrown back, mouth open, chest heaving.

But he's not finished.

"Turn over."

Spent from her recent release, Elliot helps her onto her knees then spreads her with his fingers, entering her from behind. She plants her palms on his quilted headboard as he inevitably gets deeper with the new position.

He tugs her hair and though an odd angle, finds her lips again as he palms a breast. When the impending orgasm approaches, her arms weaken and she drops her face to his pillow. After a few more strokes Olivia screams into the fluffy whiteness, climaxing for a third time as he struggles not to collapse onto her under the strength of his first.

"Liv," he grunts out.

Elliot takes the time to trash the condom before cuddling up behind her again. They are sweaty, spent and ridiculously sated.

"I'm sorry," he manages, rubbing his legs against hers.

"If you're apologizing for that…

"I'm not," he says, rubbing her stomach with his thumb. "That was –

"Amazing," she finishes for him. "And at the risk of making you impossibly more arrogant, that was probably the strongest orgasm I've ever had in my life."

"You're welcome," he laughs. "You're pretty incredible yourself."

"You're welcome," she says and he can hear the smile in her voice. "Now why are you apologizing?"

"For complicating your life," he responds. "For not initiating this when we were both free and clear."

"I'm the one that avoided you," she tells him, stifling a yawn. "Would've been hard to start something when I refused to be in the same room," she reasons. "I owe _you_ the apology El."

"Agree to disagree," he says, planting a kiss on her shoulder. "Right now just…nap with me?"

"Deal."

The weather has turned cooler so he covers them with his duvet as the exhaustion from their lovemaking lays claim.

A few hours later, it's Olivia who wakes first. When she sees the time she doesn't panic. It's only 4 o'clock and she has a couple hours yet before she would normally be home. So she slowly untangles herself from his body, careful not to wake him as she pads off to the shower.

Forty minutes later when she crosses the threshold back into his bedroom, he's still very much knocked out. The sight of his muscled back, the sheets low on his waist showing just a hint of his edible ass, even his scent, all conspire to make her want to climb back in bed.

But she resists the urge and goes about collecting her clothes. Olivia's in the kitchen clipping her gun to her waist when he finds her.

"You forgot these," Elliot says, twirling her panties around his index finger as he approaches her, dressed solely in his sweatpants.

She blushes as she takes them from him and stuffs them inside her purse. Olivia stays safely on one side of the counter while he's on the other.

"I didn't wanna wake you to look for them," she explains, adding her badge to her waist. "Plus they're not exactly ready to be worn again."

Elliot eyes her as if he's the ravenous lion and she, a wounded gazelle.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" He asks, offering his full smile, dimples showing.

"Don't play dumb," she tells him, starting for the door.

Elliot comes around the counter in time to stop her forward movement, planting his hands at her waist.

"Where you rushing off to?"

"Home to let Lucy go early so that she can study," she answers. "And to spend some much needed time with Noah.

"Okay."

"Okay?" She asks. "Just like that?"

Elliot moves his hands from her waist to thread them through her hair. He kisses her deeply and lovingly before releasing her.

"I've already pushed you enough Liv," he clarifies. "You have to decide who and what you want," he adds. "And as much as I'd like to spend the night coming up with ways to influence that decision, I wouldn't wanna take time away from your son."

"Thank you for understanding," Olivia says quietly. "And for being the man I always knew you were."

"No thanks necessary."

Elliot goes to the door, pulls it open for her and she gives him one last kiss on the cheek before walking out. As she treads down the hall smelling like his body wash, tasting him in her mouth and feeling the ache of him between her legs, Olivia doesn't know how she could've thought that being with him once was enough. But she has realized one very import thing.

She can't come back to Brooklyn, back to him, until she's made up her mind.

 **E/N: Well kids, what do ya think?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm getting impatient. First they reordered the airing of an ep because of the political races. Then, they cancelled the airing of a new ep due to the World Series going to game 7. Now, one of the EPs says there's no planned eps for Tucker to even appear in. So you know what I gotta do right? I gotta make sh*t up! Lol. Here we go.**

It's Sunday night. Noah's asleep in the back, safely buckled into his car seat. Ed is driving them home from having spent the day together eating lunch, playing in the park, visiting the Children's Zoo there and eating a quick dinner.

She's tired. They all are of course, but hers is a mental and emotional kind of weariness.

They arrive at her apartment and Olivia makes coffee while Ed tucks her son in. He's actually better with kids than she thought he'd be. Then again he's surprised her in a few positive ways.

He's a sweet, attentive albeit predictable lover. His cooking is edible and he's more into art, literature and travel than sports, beer and the latest action flick. He takes care of himself physically, has beautiful eyes and he dotes on her.

But he rarely gives her a full smile. Olivia thinks he has dimples but she's yet to see a real, honest to goodness, pearly-whites-on-display, grin.

Or laugh.

They enjoy each other's company. They're comfortable. But they rarely laugh together. She told him none too long ago that she was the happiest she's been in a long time.

How could that have changed so quickly? Even _before_ she slept with Elliot?

She doesn't know the how or the when but she knows the why.

They've both settled for having someone instead of having _the_ one. Ed said it himself, "we got a good thing going here." And she'd agreed. They do. It's nice and safe. He didn't say great, or awesome or even seem that enthusiastic about it. Yet, it's good, or at least it was.

Past tense, and still they went to Paris.

Olivia doesn't count it as a mistake. It is the most beautiful city she's ever been to. But even in one of the most romantic places on earth, she didn't feel that fiery passion that two people contemplating sharing a life should have or at the very least, start out having.

Then there's the trust factor. Ed said he trusts her but she knows she can never completely trust him. And if it's one thing above all others that's important to Olivia Benson both as a cop and as a woman, it's the ability to trust one's partner whether in the streets or in life.

"Hey," he says, emerging from the bedroom. "You look like you're in deep thought."

Olivia sits on a barstool, stirring her coffee and gives him an acknowledging grin.

"I was," she admits.

Ed makes himself a cup then pulls up the stool next to hers, giving her back a short rub.

"Anything I should know about?"

She takes a deep breath and he knows it isn't good.

"Do you ever wonder how we got here?"

He gets a slight gleam in his eye.

"Well I went west on 81st…"

He doesn't get the smile he was hoping for, instead another deep sigh.

"Hey, what is it, what's wrong?"

She picks up her cup, takes it into the living room, knowing he'll follow. After resting it on the coffee table, she places her back against the arm of the sofa as she sits, folding a leg beneath her.

"You know…you pretty much made my life hell for 16 out of the 17 years I've known you and –

"Olivia," he interrupts. "You said you forgave me for that."

"I have," she says. "But I haven't forgotten and I find myself wondering how the two of us got here…together."

"Last year was hard for you," he tells her. "I don't know what finally made me realize how rough your job is, the courage that's necessary to do it or the toll it takes on you personally…but it happened."

"So you asked me out for that first drink out of pity?"

"Course not," he answers. "I've always found you attractive Olivia, I'm not blind," he goes on. "I just never thought you'd actually say yes."

"Neither did I," she quips.

He smirks at this, mimicking her position and facing her on the couch.

"Well we'd never really talked outside of me going after your badge or someone's you work with," he admits. "You probably thought you were being set up as some type of undercover operation for IAB."

She has to laugh.

"I did," she confesses. "I was very paranoid that you were talking to me as a woman you were interested in, instead of a dirty cop whose shield you tried to add to your collection."

"So you said yes out of curiosity?"

"Absolutely," she grins. "But what a pleasant surprise to find out how much you love Hemingway and classic artists like Renoir and Delacroix.

"It was an equally interesting surprise to find out that you can cuss like a sailor and throw out Yankee stats," he says. "Which by the way, you could make up and I wouldn't notice."

"And you call yourself a New Yorker."

"True," he acknowledges. "So…I hope that answers your question of how we got here."

"It does," she tells him. "But I don't think that's the whole story," she adds. "We were both looking for something."

"Such as?"

"Companionship maybe," Olivia answers. "Someone to come home to," she elaborates. "Someone to worry about other than Noah and someone who'll worry about me."

"I can't argue with that," he tells her. "I haven't had anyone in a very long time and the idea of it –

"Is nice," she says. "But a relationship should be born out of more than a cozy idea," she adds. "Something you can wrap yourself up in at night like a warm blanket just because you're tired of sleeping alone."

"That's how you'd describe us?" He asks, eyebrows raised. "A security blanket?"

"Ed don't –

"Don't what Olivia?" He asks, standing. "Take that as an insult?"

"It wasn't –

"It sure as hell wasn't a compliment," he says, the scowl she's familiar with taking over. "I didn't ask for you and Noah to share the townhouse because my life is so pitifully empty."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to," he chides.

"Ed please, just…can you sit with me?"

He hesitates but eventually does as she asks and Olivia wastes no time reaching for his hand.

"Before it went to hell," she begins, quietly. "What was your relationship like with Charlotte?"

"What? Come on, she's the last person I wanna discuss."

She squeezes his hand lightly.

"Please just…humor me," she says. "What was it like?"

He looks into her eyes, sees her sincerity and nods once.

"It was incredible," he begins. "We were young, in love and it was…damn near perfect…of course we fought, but we made up just as passionately," he reminisces. "When she walked into a room…I had to remember how to breathe."

Ed looks to her to see if she's getting angry at his choice of words.

"Go on," she encourages.

"We talked about everything," he continues. "She's the reason I have such an appreciation for art, a fondness for classic literature. And we always discussed having kids…getting a place big enough to raise 'em in…"

"That's why you got the townhouse?"

"Yeah," he answers, drawing his eyebrows together. "It was her dream… _our_ dream."

Ed pulls his hand out of her grasp, clasping them both in front of him, head slightly bent as if he's come to a realization. His shoulders seem to relax with whatever conclusion their little conversation has brought about.

"Shit," he says after a few moments. "I guess…even after more than twenty years of thinking that fantasy was dead and buried…

"Some part of you still wants it," Olivia concludes.

"And when you and Noah came along," he tells her. "I didn't even recognize how I might be trying to have you fill the hole she left."

He actually smiles a real smile then, teeth and all thinking about the apparent love of his life. Yet it's not a grin that lights his eyes in a positive way. It's one that speaks to sadness, of heartache.

"I think seeing Dr. Lindstrom is rubbing off on you," he points out. "You got me on a couch, spillin' my guts and solving over two decades' worth of anger and resentment with my own little epiphany."

"We both needed to hear it," she reasons. "Because I've never seen you so… _affected_ …talking about us," she tells him. "We're comfortable with each other, we care about one another but I think we're both settling for having less than we could."

"With someone else?" He asks, facing her once more. "Neither of us are getting any younger Olivia," he points out. "I wasn't lying when I said we have a good thing going here and I'm not willing to throw it away for some fairytale that may never happen."

"A bird in the hand and all that huh?"

"What is this really about?" He asks. "Because not too long ago, you said being with me was the happiest you'd been in a long time," he reminds her. "So what's changed?"

She lowers her head, then look backs towards the bedroom before meeting his eyes again.

"There's someone else," he presumes. "Was all this introspective crap about my ex all just so that I could make you feel better about ending this?"

"No," she says. "It was so we could be honest with ourselves and each other."

"I've been honest with you," Ed tells her. "I've answered all your questions so now it's time for you to return the favor."

"Okay," she rasps. "What started me questioning this relationship isn't whether or not there's someone else," she begins. "Or the fact that yes, no matter how old I get I'll still want that fairytale," she continues. "Because I think I deserve it."

"Then what is it?"

Olivia closes her eyes and takes a breath. When she opens them again, his steel blues are still trained on her, waiting for an answer.

"Despite having forgiven you for accusing me of murder and using my PTSD from my sexual assault as a motive," she continues. "I realized that I can never completely trust you after something like that."

"But you know I was just doing my job," Tucker asserts.

"I get that…I do," she says. "But it's the way you did your job that carrying around a broken heart for over twenty years can't excuse."

"And it's taken you nearly a year of us being together to figure that out?" He asks. "No. I don't believe that for a second," he contends. "This is a recent development, so who is he?"

"Ed you're not getting it," she tries. "Being content with your circumstances is not the same as being happy."

"And you're not answering the question," he counters, standing from the sofa again. "Is it Lindstrom?" He asks, starting to pace. "No, I know you wouldn't cross that line…it's not Carisi is it?"

Olivia raises her brows but remains speechless. She's never seen him this flustered or jealous.

"Seems like he'd instantly get on your nerves so he's out," he answers. "Tutuola maybe? You've known him for years…"

She gets up from the sofa to stop his pacing, grasping both hands in hers.

"Tucker…listen to me," she tells him. "You can't describe what we have as incredible or anywhere near perfect," she explains. "We're not in love with each other and I need to offer my son an example of what it looks like…to take someone's breath away."

His grip tightens as he tries to persuade her.

"I don't know who he is or what he does for you," he starts. "But I'm offering you a family, a good life, a father for Noah," he adds. "And maybe it's not fireworks or spontaneous combustion but that doesn't mean it's not good…it's _been_ good Olivia."

"This isn't working for me anymore."

He releases her hands, backs away.

"So then…what was today about?" Ed asks. "Saying goodbye? Letting me have that little boy in my life for one more day?"

"I'm sorry," she offers. "I tried to make this work, to make us fit," she goes on. "And I'll always be grateful to you for offering the family that we've both always dreamed about," she tells him. "But because of where we started…"

"I get it," he says, nodding. "I do, but let me ask you something?"

"Okay."

"Has this guy confessed to being in love with you?" He asks. "Got down on one knee with one of those little blue Tiffany's boxes in his hand and promised you the world?"

"No," she answers, simultaneously admitting that there is someone else.

"And what makes you think he will?" He persists. "Or that you can trust him any more than you feel like you _can't_ trust me?"

Olivia returns to the sofa, picking up and sipping the cold coffee for something to do. He's not wrong. Elliot may not have tried to put her in prison but he's hurt her a hell of a lot more than Ed Tucker ever has.

Can she really trust him not to do it again?

"I uh…I don't know," she admits.

"Then maybe you should take some time and figure it out," he suggests.

Ed moves towards her, bends and plants a chaste kiss to her temple.

"Don't be so quick to trade what we have for something that may not be worth it," he says, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door. "When you make a decision…you know the number."

As soon as the door clicks closed she feels completely alone again. Weird, considering she now has two men patiently waiting for her to make a choice.

 **E/N: Well good people, seems our favorite detective has a legitimately tough decision to make. She has a child to think about now and she's a little mature to only be ruminating on which man makes her scream the loudest (although that's a damn good quality to have…lol). They've both hurt her in very different ways so we'll see. Do what you do and please…review! I answer anyone with an account that hasn't denied access to responses. So if you haven't gotten one from me, that's the reason kids.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN/: First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews and PMs. You guys definitely have some interesting takes on how things should go. Perhaps there's another nugget about Tuckson in that ep that keeps getting pushed back, maybe not. Either way here's the next chapter. And as always, don't hesitate to review or PM me with your thoughts.**

When Olivia's phone rings shortly after Tucker leaves, she's almost hesitant to answer. His words were the catalyst that got her thinking about…her options. Her former partner has always been vague and careful in expressing his feelings towards her. And despite having twice exchanged bodily fluids with the man, there have been no promises made, no swapping of an "I love you," and no agreements to be in a monogamous, committed relationship if she chooses him.

Both acknowledged that it was about more than sex, but neither have named what else it's become.

"Hello."

"Hey Liv," he says. "Sorry it's so late, I hope I'm not waking you or –

"Interrupting something," she finishes. "You're not El. What's up?"

"I wanna give you space," he begins. "But I realized the deck is sort of stacked against me."

Olivia grins at this, thinking to herself, _'this is gonna be good'_.

"Really?" She asks. "How so?"

"You've been dating Tucker for almost a year," he points out. "He's apparently great with Noah and he took you to Paris Liv," he says. " _Paris_."

"Okay?"

"So…I think I should at least get _one_ date before you make any major decisions," he suggests.

"El, dating is for getting to know someone you don't know," she offers. "We've known each other nearly twenty years."

He's quiet for almost a full minute and she has to check her phone to make sure he hasn't hung up.

"Liv," he rasps. "I'm not asking you out to try and one-up Tucker," he explains. "I'm asking you out because…it's the last first date I ever wanna have."

Olivia brings a hand up to her mouth as it drops open from a loss of words.

"Liv, you there?"

"Uh yeah…yeah still here," she answers. "And yes, I'll go out with you Elliot."

"Great…next Saturday okay?" He asks. "It's supposed to be the last good day we have before the weather turns to shit."

"Sounds good," she tells him. "What time?"

"I was thinking lunch," he suggests. "It'll be warmest then and I wanna enjoy whatever sunshine we have left."

They'll be going out in public for the first time…together. Someone that knows about Ed could see them and tell him. Then again, he knows she's seeing _someone_ else. Should it really matter that it's Elliot?

"Did you have a specific place in mind?" She asks.

"Yeah and I think Noah will enjoy it too," he answers. "So, dress casually and wear comfortable shoes."

"Uh oh," she tells him. "Should I be worried?"

"Not at all," he says, laughing. "You'll be fine, trust me."

"I do."

"I'll pick you guys up at 11am," he informs her. "Night Liv."

"Night."

The work week goes as usual for them both. Olivia is exposed once again to victims of the music business and how treacherous it can become. And Elliot helps uncover a ridiculous but perfect alibi for his firm's latest client.

Needless to say, by week's end they're both ready for a more than necessary day off.

Noah's dressed in typical toddler attire, an Oshkosh long sleeve sweatshirt and jeans with his favorite Chukkas. Olivia decides to put her hair up and don large hoop earrings. Her makeup is minimal but enhances her natural beauty. And a short-sleeved white silk blouse, fitted dark wash jeans, suede burgundy blazer and taupe suede ankle boots complete her look.

When Elliot knocks on her door promptly at 11am, she distracts Noah with his favorite train to answer.

"Hey El."

He doesn't speak right away and his mouth hangs slightly ajar admiring her outfit. Olivia steps forward and lays a hand against his bicep.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he finally says, taking a deep breath. "I just…it's been awhile since I've seen you."

"So?"

"So," he repeats, smiling and dropping his gaze to the floor. "I guess I just lost my breath there for a second," he continues. "It's stupid, I know…we've known each other too long for that."

Olivia smiles when he meets her gaze again. She takes another step forward, presses her lips against his cheek then steps back.

"What was that for?" He asks, following her inside.

"You're just too damned cute for your own good," she answers, approaching her son. "Come on Noah, time to go."

"I'll get his stroller," he offers. "He may get tired from walking."

Elliot's bending to grab it when he catches her getting an eyeful of his ass in a well-worn pair of blue jeans. She bites her lower lip but isn't embarrassed enough about getting busted to start blushing. With Noah present he simply shakes his head.

"Mind out of the gutter Liv," he says, folding the stroller to fit into his SUV. "Ready buddy?" He asks, ruffling Noah's hair causing him to giggle.

"Lead the way," Olivia responds with a wink.

It takes them only twenty minutes to get to the Bronx's Wave Hill parks and gardens. And as promised, they stop in the café for lunch.

"You been here before?" Elliot asks.

"I haven't," she tells him. "But so far it's beautiful."

"It gets better."

Olivia is impressed to find that everything is locally grown from sustainable farms, and though she doesn't need either, they have vegetarian and gluten-free options. She orders Noah the mac and cheese, gets the chicken pot pie for herself while Elliot gets cheddar bratwurst and potatoes.

"Eyes on your own plate woman," he says.

"Can't help it," she offers. "It looks and smells delicious."

He smiles around his first bite and when he's done chewing he responds…

"It is delicious."

She ignores his smugness and digs into her chicken pot pie. Instantly delighted by the light crust and how fresh the ingredients taste, Olivia grins.

"Good?"

"So good."

"What about you champ?" He asks Noah. "How's that mac and cheese?"

"Good," he manages between bites. "Cookie mama?"

"Maybe later sweetie," Olivia tells him.

After another fifteen minutes or so, they finish eating and begin walking the vast grounds. They stumble upon a craft activity of making cornhusk dolls and decide to join in. Noah is playing with one Elliot's made for him when a storyteller in Native American dress, begins an engaging tale about the sacred earth and the magical animals that inhabit it.

The two adults are just as enthralled with the legend as Noah. He sits in her former partner's lap getting excited at the appropriate times and clapping as the narrator animatedly continues. She smiles warmly watching them.

When they venture towards the gardens she sees her son occasionally yawning. Elliot takes over pushing him in his stroller one handed, then slides his palm into Olivia's with the other. He's noticed Noah's sleepiness as well.

"I just wanna show you one thing," he begins. "Then I'll get you guys home."

"Let's go," she agrees, rubbing his fingers with her thumb.

They wind through vibrant, colorful and fragrant paths of flowers before reaching the Kerlin Overlook. It provides an uninterrupted view on the Jersey side of the Hudson, that is breathtakingly gorgeous.

Elliot was right in coming during lunch when the sun is highest in the sky. Its rays reflect off the surface, making the otherwise muddy water look beautiful and inviting. And the greens, golds, maroons and yellows of the trees lining the river's banks, creates a color pallet so rich it almost seems unreal.

Olivia inhales deeply, taking it all in.

"I know it's not the city of lights," Elliot starts. "But I thought –

"You thought right," she interrupts, turning to face him. "It's a stunning view."

"Mine is better," he says, smiling before leaning in to place a kiss to her cheek. "You're amazing Liv," Elliot whispers before pulling back.

Olivia fists his orange Polo at the collar and covers his lips with her own. Not having done so up until now has been more than a challenge, but she manages to keep it short and mostly PG-13 before letting him breathe again.

"Let's get you two home."

She slides her hand in his after buckling Noah into his car seat and they remain that way until Elliot parks in her building's garage. Olivia carries her son while Elliot gathers the stroller and the corn husk doll Noah's grown so fond of.

She takes him and lays him in his bed, removing his boots before covering him in his Thomas the Train blanket. Olivia plants a chaste kiss to his forehead then joins Elliot in the kitchen where he's decided to make coffee. He hands her a mug when she approaches, no doubt already made just the way she's always taken it.

"Thank you," she says, sipping it to find out she's right.

"Welcome."

Elliot leans against the sink on one side of the small space and Olivia mimics his position against the counter opposite him. They sip their French roast, stare at one another, smile and do at all over again in silence for a full two minutes.

"You can stop looking at me like that because I'm not having sex with you today," he tells her.

She laughs full and heartily, having to put down her coffee lest she spill it on herself. Elliot does the same as she covers the short distance between them, resting both hands at his waist while he threads his through her chestnut locks.

"You enjoy our first date?"

"I did," she answers. "Very much so."

"Good."

"Good?"

"It's great," he clarifies. "I only hope we get to have more."

"Is that what you want?" Olivia asks. "To just…keep dating?"

"No," he responds, immediately. "Just until you can say you're as much in love with me as I am with you."

So much for being careful with his words.

Elliot smiles before leaning in to kiss the look of surprise off her face. He knows her shock isn't that he feels this way, only that he's actually given voice to those feelings. And…was first in doing so.

"And then?" She asks, lids closed, forehead pressed against his.

He pulls back, meeting affected dark brown eyes with the blue intensity of his own.

"I think I've already answered that question," he responds, dropping a hand to rub her left ring finger with his thumb.

Just a couple of weeks ago he expressed his desire not to merely offer Olivia and Noah shared living space, but to make her his wife.

"I haven't seen anyone else since that first time with you Liv," he admits. "And I won't…unless you tell me this isn't headed where I hope it is."

Olivia backs away, leaning against the opposite counter again.

"What if…El what if this intense physical attraction we have is only because we fought it for so long?" She asks. "What happens when it wears off…or we get enough of each other or we have one fight too many?"

He tries but fails to hide a smile.

"This is funny to you?"

"The idea that I could get enough of you kinda is," he answers, growing serious. "Liv…I spent half of our partnership denying I want you and the other half trying to pretend that my feelings are just platonic."

So much for being vague.

"I know you've apologized to the point of exhaustion," she begins. "But if you love me, how could you have just walked away like that?"

Elliot hears the pain in her voice and fights to stay against the sink instead of wrapping her in his arms the way he wants to. Because if the possibility of sharing a life together exists, they need to have this long overdue discussion.

"I've asked myself that question repeatedly," he tries, rubbing his forehead in a frustrated yet familiar gesture. "Between the shooting that ended my career and the demise of my marriage…that wasn't the best time to confront my feelings for you."

"So you alienated me instead?" She asks.

"I wasn't in a good place Liv," he explains. "I've never been in _that_ place and if I would've come to you then…"

"What?"

"I would've cheated on Kathy."

" _That_ you had a problem with," she counters. "Yet you had no issues with helping me cheat on Tucker?'

"You're comparing a thirty-year marriage with my high school sweetheart to a ten-month relationship with our former nemesis?" He asks, incredulous.

"It doesn't matter who it's with," Oliva points out. "Or maybe for you it did," she adds, moving into the living room.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She begins picking up Noah's toys, dropping them into a large plastic bin. Elliot follows, helping.

"It means you didn't come after me when I was with anyone else," Olivia clarifies.

"No one else endangered your life by putting you in Rikers and leaving you to defend yourself in gen pop," he tells her. "And when I talked to you about David or Cassidy, you seemed genuinely happy," he continues. "Not like you are now…pretending."

"I'm not pretending with –

"And let's not forget the fact that you avoided being in the same room with me Olivia," he reminds her. "Before you decided to hook up with Tucker, I tried –

"I explained why I needed that time away from you," she interrupts.

Elliot places the last toy in the bin, takes her hand and guides her to the sofa.

"We're arguing about why we didn't attempt a relationship sooner," he tells her, grinning. "That should be enough of a testament to how well we fit," he adds. "Now can we stop fighting and just appreciate the fact that you can't stop undressing me with your eyes?"

Olivia shakes her head as she begins laughing.

"I love that sound," he says, taking her hand in his growing serious again. "I know I've hurt you…that we've hurt each other," he adds. "But my communication skills have gotten a lot better and -

"Thank God," she butts in, smiling.

"As I was saying," he continues. "I can't promise I won't do something stupid or get on your nerves or –

"Hurt me again."

"Any more than you could make the same promise," he contends. "But you're my best friend Liv, we have years of inside jokes no one else is gonna understand, you didn't get a chance to enjoy my shrimp scampi linguini yet," he goes on, garnering a smile. "And it bears repeating…that I'm in love with you."

Olivia instantly smiles as she takes the hand he's not holding, lays against his face and leans in to cover his lips with hers. This time the kiss is definitely headed past the PG-13 variety and as she straddles his lap, moves directly into R land.

"I told you I was not having sex with you today," Elliot says, leaning away with a smirk. "I do _not_ put out on the first date."

Olivia looks down at the bulge in his jeans.

"Who are you kidding El?" She asks, an eyebrow raised.

"First of all that's completely your fault," he starts. "You affect me like I'm a thirteen-year-old boy going through puberty," he explains, then becomes serious. "And second, I've put all my cards on the table but I haven't heard how you feel about us…about there finally being an _us_."

"You're right," she acknowledges, climbing off of him.

She moves to place her back against the arm of the sofa, then folds a leg beneath her to get comfortable.

"I love this nearly telepathic connection we have," she begins. "The way you make me laugh even when I shouldn't or don't want to," she adds. "How natural, how…easy you are with my son," she goes on. "And I love that even after all this time, we can't seem to keep our hands off each other when we're in the same room."

"Ah, back to the amazing sex," he says, making her chuckle again.

"Yes, the amazing sex," Olivia repeats. "But even then, what makes it amazing is that link…and I've never shared that with anyone else."

"Are you telling me –

Two knocks at the door interrupt their conversation. She's not expecting anyone so Olivia allows Elliot to answer while she refreshes the coffee they abandoned on the counter. What happens as she looks on from the kitchen seemingly occurs in slow motion.

Tucker is standing beyond the threshold and upon seeing his former adversary, a deep crimson befalls his otherwise fair complexion.

"Stabler," he grates. "It's you?"

Before Elliot can respond, Ed connects a fist to his jaw. Olivia's eyes grow large and the last thought she has before all hell breaks loose…

' _Shit.'_

 **E/N: Well, well, well. The two men vying for Olivia's affections are finally in the same place at the same time. It's going swimmingly thus far…not. Let me know what you kids out there in fanfiction land are thinking in a review, or if you're shy, drop me a PM.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm not a fight choreographer so I hope you guys can follow the sequence of punches and all that. This is the final chapter and I may or may not be moved to do an epilogue. As always, thank you for loving on this story with your reviews and please don't hesitate to continue with this last installment.**

 **P.S. – I recommend listening to the chosen song once you reach that point in your reading. I've created a mood people! ;o)**

Elliot stumbles back but manages to catch himself before falling. Ed drops the flowers he brought, advancing as El is standing again and takes another swing. His intended target ducks and lands two jabs to the captain's abdomen, doubling him over.

"El stop!" Olivia screams. "That's enough!"

He ignores her and grabs Tucker's collar in both fists, straightening him up before rearing his fist back to try for another blow. Ed blocks the shot with his forearm, rushes Elliot and they both go tumbling to the floor, the white haired man on top.

Olivia comes running from the kitchen, trying to stay out of the way as she loudly objects to their childish behavior.

"Jesus Christ, stop this!" She yells. "Please just, stop!"

They're wrestling for control before Elliot brings a knee up into Tucker's ribs causing him to groan and fall off of him. Olivia takes the opportunity to stand between the two, knowing that neither man would hurt her. Both get up and square off, trying to get at each other around her when a small voice cures their bloodlust.

"Mama?"

Noah stands in the doorway, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"Uncle Ed and El…fight?"

Both men immediately back away from each other, straightening their clothes as Olivia moves to pick up her little boy.

"No baby," she tells him, temporarily eyeing the guys before facing him again. "El and Uncle Ed were just roughhousing sweetie."

Noah considers the two men, seemingly expecting some type of reassurance from one or both of them that everything is okay.

"Yeah buddy," Elliot says, speaking up first. "Tuc- he and I were just playing around like the wrestlers do on TV," he adds, stepping forward. "Isn't that right… _Uncle Ed_?"

Both Olivia and Elliot turn to Tucker as he's holding the side he was kneed in.

"That's right Noah," he rasps. "Elliot and I were just clowning around big guy," he adds. "Everything's fine."

"Okay," he says innocently. "Connie?"

"Connie?" Ed repeats.

Elliot rushes off to retrieve the corn doll he made for Noah from its resting place on Olivia's bookshelf. It wears a yellow handkerchief and red vest like a little cowboy. Noah fell in love with it almost immediately. He can't pronounce corn doll so well, hence the name, Connie.

"Here you go champ," he tells him as Noah reaches for it.

"I'll be back," Olivia says, eyeballing Elliot and then Tucker. "Do I have to worry about my apartment being destroyed while I'm gone?"

"No," Ed answers.

Elliot simply shakes his head in the negative.

When she returns, Tucker is sitting in the armchair while her former partner is in the kitchen, as far as he can be from the man without jumping out the window. And, likely removing the temptation of pounding his competition's face in.

She looks between them and wishes very strongly that she hadn't gotten rid of all the alcohol in her apartment. Before she can make a decision on what else to drink, Elliot is handing her a steaming cup of coffee.

"Thanks," she whispers. "El I…can you go please?"

"What?" He asks, shocked.

Ed stands at Elliot's volume, preparing to intervene if necessary.

"I need to talk to him," she explains, quietly. "And I can't do that with you here."

Before she can further clarify, he leaps to conclusions.

"I don't believe this," he spouts. "I get sucker-punched and you're kicking _me_ out?"

"That's not what this is, I'm not –

Elliot brushes past her and out of the kitchen.

"After _everything_ I just said to you," he goes on. "I can't believe I'm the one leaving."

Tucker blocks his path as Elliot moves into the living room.

"What did you expect Stabler?" Ed asks, chiming in. "She probably wouldn't have half the marks in her jacket if it weren't for you."

Present and former detectives square off again, looking as if they're about to kill each other, hands fisted at their sides.

"So tell me," Tucker continues. "Now that you can't beat up suspects or shoot anybody, how do you deal with that infamous rage of yours?"

From her purview, Olivia can see her one-time partner's fists tighten incrementally and she knows he's about two seconds from turning her place into a crime scene.

"That's enough Ed," she says, approaching from behind Elliot. "Just let him go."

He concedes and backs out of the way, watching as the incensed man snatches his keys from the foyer table, then heads for the door.

Elliot grabs the knob, harshly pulling it open and the two other occupants in the room expect him to slam it behind himself. Instead he takes a breath, and the raging storm inside seems to dissipate when he scoops up the abandoned bouquet of peach roses.

"These are beautiful," he compliments, regarding Olivia as if Tucker's absent. "Too bad they're not tiger lilies, huh?"

Elliot places them on the foyer table then turns to leave again.

"El -

"Bye Liv."

Tears have pooled in her eyes when the door finally closes. Ed turns and embraces her without noticing.

"You won't regret this Olivia," he says. "I'm gonna try and make you and that little boy in there as happy as I can, as often as I can."

When he releases her she walks slowly to the sofa and takes a seat. She looks up at him, then pats the space next to her indicating he should do the same.

"Paris was just the start," Ed continues. "I'm thinking Australia next summer, we could make it an annual thing and find –

"Stop," she tells him. "Just stop."

"What's wrong?"

"That…brawl that happened with the two of you," she begins. "I didn't see that coming when I was weighing my options."

"What about it?"

"I was his partner for over a decade Ed," Olivia says. "I'm well aware of what his temper can turn him into but –

"But what?"

"Hitting him, the things you said…knowing I'd already asked him to leave," she goes on. "It reminded me of the man I _thought_ you no longer were."

Olivia gets up from the sofa, peering out of the window just in time to watch Elliot driving away in his Jeep.

"I forgave that man," she says, turning and leaning against the ledge. "Not for you but for me," she explains. "Because that kind of anger and negativity was too heavy a burden on top of everything else I've had to deal with."

"Then I forgive you too," Ed counters, surprising her. "For cheating on me with Stabler," he clarifies. "But taking a swing at him and being pissed to find him here doesn't make me that guy again…just makes me human."

"If having your heart broken by Charlotte turned you into who you've been for the last twenty years," she starts. "Then it's a good thing we're not in love."

Tucker stands, approaches Olivia.

"What are you saying?"

She takes a deep breath, looks down at her boots then meets his eyes.

"I'm saying this is over Ed."

"But you just –

"I didn't wanna do this in front of Elliot," she reasons. "You deserve better than that."

He raises his eyebrows in disbelief.

"But I didn't deserve _not_ to be cheated on?" He asks. "Should I bother asking how long you've been sleeping with him or just assume, like everyone else, that it started when you were partners?"

Olivia lets out a humorless chuckle as she shakes her head.

"And I thought this was gonna be hard," she says, moving around him.

He watches as she stalks off to a nearby closet.

"I'm sorry Liv, that was uncalled for," Ed tries. "And at this point it doesn't matter."

She removes a small cardboard box and disappears in the back. When she returns after a few minutes, Tucker sees several shirts sticking out, the laces from a pair of running shoes and what he guesses are other things he's left during the short course of their relationship.

Olivia takes a look around as she approaches him, making sure she hasn't forgotten anything that would give him an excuse to return. Though she suspects, he isn't the type to dwell on what was.

"I believe this is everything," she says, handing over Tucker's belongings.

"Thank you," he tells her, not bothering to look into the box.

Having run out of things to say to one another, they stand quietly at her bookcase. She reaches over to a higher shelf, takes the framed photo of the two of them and places it gently on top of his pile.

"Stabler's under the impression that you chose me," he begins, holding her eyes. "I guess that means you haven't told him."

"Told him what?"

"That you're in love with him too."

"Too?"

"Come on," he says. "The guy wanted to tear me apart for what I said," he continues. "And because you asked him to…he just left," he explains. "So yeah, I know he's in love with you."

She swallows hard, wanting to lie.

"No," she goes with instead. "I haven't told him yet."

Ed tucks the box under his arm, leans forward and kisses her on the cheek. He gives her a genuine smile, then pulls back.

"You were right Olivia," he admits. "You deserve the fairytale," he adds. "And I was wrong for trying to talk you into living without it."

"You deserve it too," she asserts, her voice suddenly affected. "I hope you can find it again one day."

Tucker makes it to the door, stops and eyes the roses.

"I'm guessing tiger lilies are your favorites," he realizes.

Olivia simply nods.

"Much as I hate they guy, at least I know he'll never let anything happen to you," he concedes. "It was good…for a while there."

"It was," she agrees, tears pricking her eyes.

"I hope he turns out to be everything you've wanted," Ed tells her, opening the door. "And tell him I don't care how many kids he's got, if my ribs are broken he's getting the bill."

She laughs her first real laugh since she's been with him.

"I'll do that."

"Kiss that sweet little boy of yours for me," he says, rare emotion creeping into his voice. "Goodbye Benson."

Olivia swipes at tears with both hands but manages a small smile.

"Bye Tucker."

After the door closes, she takes a minute then grabs a tissue to dry her face before continuing towards the back to help Noah play with his trains. She pauses at the threshold, surprised to find him playing with the cornhusk doll instead.

"Hi mama."

"Hey baby," she says, joining him on the floor. "You love that thing huh?"

"El make it."

"That's right," she tells him. "He made it just for you, sweetie."

"Where El mama?" He asks, attempting to sit the doll on top of a train.

She sighs, moving an errant hair from his forehead.

"He went home Noah."

"Where Uncle Ed?"

"He went home too baby," she answers, running a hand through her own locks. "It's just me and you for now," she adds. "That okay?"

Noah stops playing and looks her in the eyes as if he actually knows what's going on. Then again, perhaps he does. Children, especially the little ones, can be unusually intuitive when it comes to their parents' emotions.

Particularly ones they attempt to hide.

"Okay," he tells her, abandoning his toys to climb into her arms for a hug. "Cookie now, mama?"

Olivia squeezes him tightly then stands with him in her arms.

"Sure chipmunk, but just one."

Four cookies and a cup of milk later, mother and son are parked on the sofa in front of the television watching Dinosaur Train. Her focus slips back and forth between the silly animated characters and her cell phone.

She's been succeeding in not picking it up for the past hour but can't wait any longer.

Elliot's line rings until it goes to voicemail so she tries again, and again the next day. She leaves several messages that they need to talk. Confessing her feelings won't happen in any way other than face to face. But his ego is bruised and he's ignoring her despite his insistence that his communication skills have improved.

It's too bad his reaction to feeling rejected hasn't. He pulled the same shit with his ex-wife the first time they were divorced. Kathy had to show up to the station to get him to talk to her about signing the papers.

So, Olivia decides to take a page out of her book and delegates Fin to take charge the last few hours of Monday's shift. She's waiting on his sofa when Elliot walks into his apartment and he nearly reaches for his weapon and draws down on her.

"Liv," he says, surprised. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I've been trying to talk to you for two days Elliot," she answers, standing to approach him. "You've been ignoring me but I'm willing to overlook it if you get your head out your ass and give me two minutes to explain."

"Yeah well, I figured kicking me out was a clear enough indication of what you wanted," he tells her. "How did you get in here?"

"I badged the super, told him I was your girlfriend and that I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary," she answers.

"Smart," he offers. "But I believe that's still a crime, lieutenant," he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Stop trying to change the subject," she chides, stepping closer. "Did you even bother to listen to the messages I left?"

"No," he responds. "I didn't feel like hearing you try to apologize or rationalize your decision to choose _that_ son of a bitch."

Olivia moves forward, attempts to touch the bruising that Tucker's fist left on the side of her former partner's face.

She's hurt when he pulls back, dodging her hand.

"I'll uh…get you some ice," she offers, trying to move around him.

She gets a step or two away before Elliot grabs her elbow, turning her so that she's facing him again.

"Skip the ice and just say what you've come to say."

Nervously she looks down, rubbing her forehead before meeting his eyes again.

"I didn't kick you out El," she begins. "I asked you to leave and I did it because I didn't wanna have you as an audience when I ended things with him."

"You…broke up with Tucker?" He asks. "Or maybe he broke up with you and I'm the fallback plan."

She frustratedly shakes her head, and exhales an exasperated breath.

"Why is nothing ever easy with you?" She asks. "No Elliot, you're not my fallback plan and I ended him with things because –

"Because what Olivia?" He asks, shedding his tie and jacket on the sofa before walking into the kitchen. "Your painfully obvious amnesia wore off and you realized he was the same asshole that tried to destroy our careers more than once?"

Elliot opens the fridge, pops the cap off of a Hangar 24 and takes a long pull.

"No," she says, following him. "It's because you said you wanted to know how I feel about there being an 'us'."

She swipes the beer from him, drinks quickly for the liquid courage to deal with his obstinance, then slams it on the counter.

"I'm here because _that's_ what I want," she confesses, placing both hands against the sides of his neck. "I want there to be an 'us' El," she adds. "It's what I was about to tell you before Tucker interrupted."

"You mean _Uncle Ed_?" He asks, yet to touch her but not moving from her hold.

Olivia takes a step away from him, leaning her back against the counter.

"We were together for nearly a year Elliot," she reasons. "Noah had to call him something."

"But he calls me El."

She momentarily closes her eyes and shakes her head again, takes a breath and looks everywhere but him before locking onto his blues.

"That's because…if he called you Uncle El and things progress the way I hope we _both_ want them to," she tries. "He'll be addressing you the same as your…other children."

' _My other children,_ ' he thinks, as what she's actually saying without spelling it out, dawns on him.

A large grin spreads across his face and he immediately steps before Olivia, planting both hands on either side of hers where they rest on the counter.

"I guess going from Uncle El to Dad would get confusing for the kid."

"Probably," she says, momentarily closing her eyes at his proximity. "I want it all with you," she begins, moving her hands to the small of his back. "A place that doesn't start out as yours or mine…but ours because we'll choose it together."

"What else?" He asks, leaning to whisper in her left ear.

"I take it you're not mad anymore?"

He closes the distance between them, melding his body to hers so she can feel just how unapologetically _not_ angry he is. Elliot gives her neck a playful bite, suckles a bit then sooths the spot with the warmth of his tongue.

"What else?" He repeats.

"I wanna wear your ring," Olivia admits, surprising herself in the process.

"And then?" Elliot asks, a rasp in her other ear.

"A honeymoon usually follows."

"Where?" He asks, planting an open mouthed kiss to her neck.

"Hmm…Italy," she manages, failing to suppress a moan.

"I knew you loved Italian," Elliot says, pulling back. "So what'll we do when we get there?"

Olivia smiles at his enthusiasm, so she does her best to paint a vivid and titillating picture.

"Ride in a Venetian gondola, enjoy the delicious food of Parma," she answers. "Sunbathe on the Amalfi coast and…make love everywhere we can without getting arrested."

They both laugh and besides adopting Noah, she's never been more sure about anything else in her life.

"And they say men have one track minds," he comments, moving strong hands to cup her face. "But I'd spend a week in a tent as long as you're with me."

Elliot leans in, finally covering her lips with his own. He begins a slow passionate exploration of her mouth and when they stop to breathe, he rests his forehead against hers, their eyes still closed.

"You were right when you said we fit," she whispers against his lips. "Even better now because…I'm in love with you too."

With the words barely out of her mouth, he's kissing her again. It's deep and consuming before he moves his lips to that favorite spot behind her ear. Olivia pushes him away, takes his hands in hers and it's she who's pulling him towards the bedroom this time.

Once there, Elliot pauses to approach a music player she's never noticed. When the melody and voice from Babyface's _When Your Body Gets Weak_ begins to play, Olivia is pleasantly surprised.

He moves to stand behind her, peels off her blazer then undresses her slowly until she's down to nothing but skin. When Elliot directs her to sit on the bed she does so, scooting backwards as he looks to her with intense focus and a mischievous grin.

Olivia waits excitedly, happy that he can't hear the pounding of her heart.

After ridding himself of his own clothes, he kneels, planting tender kisses from the pulse point of her ankle to the petal soft flesh of her inner thigh. Elliot pauses, nuzzling her mound and inhaling her scent before ascending her body further. He runs a tongue through the space between her breasts before meeting her waiting lips.

As he snakes his hand below Olivia's waist, his mouth dips south. He drags his teeth across a cinnamon colored nipple, teasing then sucking the hardened nub while his fingers tantalize her thin strip of dark curls. The sensual manipulation by his digits has her losing a breath to her first orgasm in a matter of minutes.

After letting her come back to herself, he smoothes his hands up her arms, intertwining their fingers. Fluidly, Elliot slips into the depths of her heat then stops, lowering his lips to her ear.

"I love you so much baby," he manages. "I never wanna be without you again."

Pulling back to gauge her response, he finds her eyes moistened with a sheen of unshed tears.

"Me either," she tells him, giving him a flirtatious grin. "Now show me."

Elliot kisses her and she widens her legs to accommodate his movement. He is unhurried in his lovemaking, undulating his hips while finding various places to nip, suck and tease, marking her body in the progress.

She'll wear the evidence of the night's festivities for days.

Not willing to let him do all the work, Olivia flips their positions, riding him at the same leisurely pace. Suddenly he sits up and she's in his lap, chest to chest with him. Olivia puts her arms around his shoulders in a hug and he kisses her so deeply it momentarily throws off her rhythm.

"You did that on purpose," she says.

"Guilty," he admits with a grin.

She laughs but pushes him on his back and begins moving again, only faster. Elliot tightens his grip on her thighs, biting his bottom lip as she brings them closer and closer to the edge. Each becomes more vocal as their pleasure builds.

"God El, I'm gonna –

"I know," he says. "I'm close too."

He reaches between where they're joined, manipulating her already sensitive bundle until she's clenching around him. The reaction triggers his own powerful orgasm and he blows apart shortly after. Olivia collapses on top of him spent, out of breath and blissfully satisfied.

She reaches for a sheet to cover them, drapes her body alongside his, then lays her head against his chest.

"Shit Liv, I forgot the condom, if –

"It's okay," she says, gliding her hand across his stomach. "It's been awhile since –

"Don't say it," Elliot interrupts. "I really don't want that mental picture."

"Okay," she tells him, a smile in her voice.

"So you know, it's been months since there's been anyone else in this bed," he explains, combing a hand through her dampened hair. "I knew the first time we kissed…I'd only ever want you."

"I knew I wanted you too," Olivia admits. "But I had to let things play out."

"I get it," he says. "So how did I get to be the lucky one?" He asks. "And don't say the amazing sex."

She raises up on an elbow to look down at him.

"I wasn't going to," she tries, biting her lower lip in an attempt to hide a smile. "Probably."

"Then what?"

"You _did_ hear me say I'm in love with you?"

"I did and that's the best reason you could've given me," Elliot tells her. "I just wanted to make sure he hadn't done anything to hurt you."

"Not really," she says, lying on his chest again. "The things he said after I asked you to leave bothered me though," she acknowledges. "Reminded me of the man he used to be."

"I only know the Tucker 1.0 version."

Olivia takes a few moments before continuing. She found herself wondering more than once how much he'd actually changed, or if it only appeared as such because Ed decided to pursue a relationship.

"After admitting to myself how I feel, it wasn't really a matter of choice," she informs him, playing with the wisps of hair scattered across his torso. "It was about having the courage to say it to your face after all this time."

"I'm very glad you did," he says, caressing her back. "My only regret is that I wasn't as relentless a year ago as the night I followed you and Tucker."

"But if it weren't for him," she starts. "I wouldn't have realized what I was missing out on when you kissed me."

It's quiet between them for a few moments as they both process the truthfulness of her words and what they mean.

"I love that sound," Olivia offers, breaking the silence.

"What sound is that?"

"Your heartbeat," she tells him. "It's thumping kind of fast in there though."

"All your fault," he accuses. "How did it feel to have two grown men literally fighting over you?"

"Scary," she answers without hesitation or thought. "That shit's only exciting in the movies."

"At least we didn't kill each other," he reasons. "But after that sucker punch, he more than had it coming."

"Tucker thought I was naïve for wanting to hold out for the fairytale," she reveals. "That I didn't have the luxury of time…to wait for the kind of love I'd want my son to witness."

"Clearly he didn't realize you already had it," he says. "And even if you didn't, there's nothing wrong with dreaming," he adds. "I'd hate for Noah to think there was."

His comments further confirm that she's made the right decision. Olivia raises up, leans over him and captures his lips until they both find a pressing need for oxygen.

"No more making new alliances out of old enemies," she promises, smiling as she returns her head to his chest. "I much prefer making new relationships out of old alliances."

Suddenly Elliot flips them and begins tickling her.

"Who you calling old?"

"You," she manages.

"Who?" He asks, relentless in his tickling.

"No one," she laughs. "Stop it…come on!"

"What's the magic word?'

"Please!"

Elliot stops and they lay side by side, facing each other.

"I love that sound," he tells her, resting a hand on her waist before scooting closer.

"What sound?"

"Your laugh," he says, caressing her thigh. "I'm gonna enjoy hearing it for the rest of my life," he confesses, stroking her cheek. "I want you to have your fairytale."

"You want the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog life with me?"

"Not too many white picket fences around," he begins. "We're _seriously_ past 2.5 kids," Elliot continues, garnering another laugh from her. "And I don't think either of us has the time to walk a dog but yeah, I absolutely want a life with you."

Elliot punctuates his assertion by giving her a short kiss.

"Maybe we can try a goldfish."

"It's our story Liv," he points out. "We'll make up the details as we go."

Unlike with Ed, she doesn't have to ask Elliot how they got there. Their connection has been feared, unacknowledged and denied for years. It wasn't love at first sight. He was married and she dated. But somewhere between the long stakeouts, the telling of corny jokes, soldiering and suffering through some of the worse cases NYPD could've thrown at them, they fell in love.

It was inevitable really.

After all they've been through, who is more deserving of a happily ever after than Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler?

Partners for life.

THE END.

 **E/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the story. This ending was one that I seriously struggled with so please let me know what you think. God bless.**


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